Happy New Year! So much has happened in 2017. It feels like it is still December. I feel like I’ve changed a great deal over the past year. I’ve decided to explore my spirituality again and focus on my mental health as well. I started going to a support group and took up a job at a preschool during the summer. I’m so happy that I began really looking into my spirituality and mental health. I’ve learned so much about myself during the few months that I began seriously doing self-exploration.
I realized that I am an animist and panentheist Druid. I realized that I still have so much left to do in terms of self-love, self-worth, etc. I realized how much I was either dwelling on the past or obsessing over the future, which led to both depression and anxiety. That is why, when I composed my list of resolutions that I decided to choose things that would allow spiritual, emotional and physical growth.
So often I forget to do something that is so basic. Breathing is the most basic human action and yet it is overlooked so much. It’s automatic so I take it for granted. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to take time to focus on my breathing. That could be anytime or place. I just want to be able to centre myself.
Live in the present.
This one is pretty self-explanatory, but I would like to give some context on what it means to me. How will this look like in action in my life? I will, instead of thinking about other things, appreciate things in the moment. I will engage myself with the environment around me. Activities on campus, crafting clubs and events that go on nearby, and anything that comes my way that I want to try, I want to take advantage of those things. This also means paying attention to the natural world, which is really just saying the world around me.
I want to commit to a daily meditation, which will incorporate the two former goals. Breathing plus living in the present equal a greater awareness of the self and the surrounding world. I want to be able to get to the point where I can do inner path work. For that, I need patience, commitment, and faith.
Work with nature.
Gardening, meditating outside, using objects from outside in spellwork and crafting (artwork), etc. I want to utilize the things around me in my spiritual and emotional path. I live in my head most of the time. I’m truly an air sign (I’m a Libra). The earth grounds me and brings me into the present. I need the earth to heal and grow. So this year I want to begin doing things that will allow for that to happen.
Learn more about yourself.
I’m planning on working on a book dedicated to shadow work. I want to dig into things that I have not dealt with, partially dealt will or have dealt with but want to explore more. This means really exploring trauma, depression, destructive habits and maladaptive thoughts, actions that I have regretted, relationships that I had and have. I know this will lead to a lot of tears shed and pain being resurrected which leads me to my next goal.
Allow yourself to feel.
I am a master at internalization. I have buried so many things deep down inside of me that I have become numb to things. That are times where I cry and have no idea why. I feel out of touch with my own emotions. When I feel something I want to feel that emotion and not bury it. I need that to heal because if I continue the way that I am, I know that I will end up where I was in the past.
Be kind to yourself.
My knee-jerk reaction is to insult myself, to degrade myself, and to hate myself. I want to work on being kinder to myself over the next year. I want to stop calling myself stupid, and worthless. I want to acknowledge my strengths and be happy for myself when I do something right. I want to learn to forgive myself when I do something wrong. I want to learn to love myself and accept me for me. I deserve that.
I kept these goals broad because there is a lot that I want to do with them and I feel that keeping them broad will allow room for adjustment should I feel the need to change or add something. I hope that you have enjoyed your New Years.